Reporters, I present to you the future of professional membership:

💰🏕️ N.O.M.A.D.

The National Order of Mandatory Annual Dues™

Our Mission

To ensure that every hardworking stenographic professional—no matter how skilled, dedicated, or exhausted—remembers one thing:

“You owe us money.”

Our Core Values

• Dues

• More dues

• Surprise fees disguised as “renewal opportunities”

• Committees that convene solely to discuss dues

• Annual conference: a multi-day celebration of dues

Membership Tiers

All completely unnecessary, but exquisitely priced.

🥉 Basic Nomad — $299/year

Includes:

• Permission to say you’re a member

Excludes: Everything else.

🥈 Advanced Nomad — $499/year

Includes:

• Basic tier benefits

• A welcome email (automated, may arrive in spam)

• A quarterly newsletter reminding you that next year’s dues are due

🥇 Supreme Nomad — $999/year

Includes:

• Advanced benefits

• A certificate printed on 20-lb copy paper

• Invitation to our Annual Nomad Gala (ticket sold separately)

💎 Ultimate Nomad Legacy Elite Prestige Ascendant Ultra Member™ — $2,499/year

Includes:

• Everything above

• A PDF badge you can print at home

• The honor of paying us

• Nothing else

Continuing “Education” Requirements

To maintain good standing, members must complete:

• 1 hour of worrying about your dictionary

• 1 hour of regretting that depo you took in 2016

• 1 hour of scrolling past angry Facebook arguments

All self-reported. All free. All irrelevant. Still mandatory.

The Annual N.O.M.A.D. Conference™

Theme: “Dues: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow”

Featured Speakers:

• The Treasurer — “Dues: A Historical Perspective”

• The Assistant Treasurer — “Dues Forecasting Models”

• The Treasurer’s Intern — “How Dues Shape the Future”

• The Treasurer’s Dog — “Woof”

Tickets: $899

Attendance not required and lunch not included.

Our Slogans

“Pay early. Pay often.”

“Your membership supports our membership.”

“You don’t need us—but we need you.”